My Boy is 3!

Today is a wonderful day... We celebrate the anniversary of the day our wonderful, sweet little boy joined our family! He's 3!!

1 Samuel - Prayer

So lately my bible study has been in 1 Samuel. I've been thinking about how Samuel and the Lord communicated, and sometimes wonder why I don't have that. Samuel was in constant communication with Him. He walked with the Lord, wholly consumed by Him. Now, I'm not saying that I don't talk to the Lord, because I do, but it's not what my day revolves around, but it should.
Our pastor recently gave a message about just this: prayer. The power of prayer. He spoke about the impact that overseas missionaries have because of their constant communication with the Lord. How much more could He do thru me, if I just let him? What if we as a church sought the Lord like Samuel or Elijah? After all, they were just regular guys capable of nothing spectacular on their own... But God. What kind of impact would we make in our community, our nation? These missionaries (my in-laws included) are being used in powerful ways to extend the kingdom. What am I doing?
I feel so challenged to pray, and pray, and pray.... I'm at home most of the time, so even if it gets a little loud, am I going to embarrass myself in front of my kids? Nah. Not sure why I wait, when we start, the Lord will guide us into praying for what He has for us.

This week my heart and thoughts keep going back to the girl I knew in high school who lost her sweet baby Sunday night. The Lord keeps putting it on my heart, and I can't help but weep and pray. When I feel I've reached the end of things to pray for, for this family, in tongues I go. Isn't that how we pray the perfect prayer when our human minds can't find words? Hopefully this is the gateway to stretching me into MORE prayer time, less ME time...

Baby News...

Yesterday I got my lab results (finally) and as expected, everything was fine except the antibody test. An antibody was detected in my blood, so the midwife said they will test again at my next appointment just to make sure it wasn't a fluke.  The midwife assured me that it could have been a false positive, because I had the Rhogam shot just over a month prior, but more than likely it's due to a condition that developed at the end of my last pregnancy with Hepzibah.

I have a negative blood type, so usually with the Rhogam shot pregnancies progress without any hitch. Somehow, between 28 weeks and delivery of Hepzibah, the Rhogam failed, and my body began to "attack" her. The midwife at the time (Donna, love her!) thought the first test was an error, so she retested us both while in recovery (post delivery) and got a second positive. Dr. Simpson (my fave OB doc) was then sent to discuss what that meant, and what possible risks would arise in future pregnancies. She informed me that the chances of the Rhogam failing, is less than 1%. In the cases of mamas with negative blood types (when Rhogam fails), the mother's body recognizes the baby as a foreign invader, and the body begins to build up antibodies to rid the 'invader'. Now, as subsequent pregnancies go, the body would target earlier and earlier, eventually leading to later term miscarriages. But we're not there right now. And Praise God, He is bigger than any of this. So while all of this seems a bit overwhelming, nothing is too overwhelming or difficult for Him to fix.

As for right now, my current OB will be retesting in a few weeks when I go back for my next regular appointment.  From there, we'll know more about how they want to move forward in treating me this pregnancy.

I'm not really worried at this point, but if you would be willing to pray for us, prayers are always appreciated. :)

What a week...

I've heard so much bad news lately. The end of last week, a blog mama lost her twin boys at just 19 weeks. From her previous posts, there wasn't any high risk to her or anything, her water just spontaneously broke at 18 weeks, and she did her best to hold them off until they were 'viable'. Unfortunately, that's not what the Lord had for her, and they came anyway at 19 weeks, where she and her husband were able to say their good byes and hold their sweet babies until the last one passed.

Today I learned that a girl I knew in high school has lost her 8 month old baby girl. A beautiful, sweet, playful baby girl who was perfect and healthy-- until yesterday when they had to say their own good byes. My heart aches for these Mamas, I cannot even begin to imagine what they are going through, or the road they must face as they bury their babies.

I am so grateful for my children, and praise God that He chose me to be their mom. And being pregnant again,  I continue with the most grateful of hearts. I have found myself wondering why these terrible things have happened, but am quickly reminded of what the Lord had shown me so many times before. In every seemingly bad situation, there's an opportunity for His glory to be revealed. Somehow, these tragedies are woven into His perfect plan. I continue to pray for peace for these families, that the Lord would mend their broken hearts. I pray that, instead of holding onto anger, (why did God let my baby die?) the Lord would show them how courageous they can be, and bring them through this grief to a happier place.

God- The Big, Soft Hearted Dad

My heart overflows with joy everytime I see my husband with our children. For a man that never really wanted kids, he is the biggest softie when it comes to them. He loves to snuggle with them, dote on them with things they love and want, and treat them to fun activities. His heart oozes with affection for them. It makes me think of God's love for us, He loves to love on us, to dote on us, and to let us know constantly we are on His mind. As much as we try to love our children with perfect love, we are human, we will fail. But God's love for us is perfect.  God's love is perfect. It is patiently waiting for us to run to Him, not boastful, not proud, not rude or self-seeking and keeps no record of past wrongs. It always hopes, always perseveres, and NEVER fails. No matter how much I screw up, His arms remain open, waiting for me. His heart just gushes with love and affection for each of us.
Yes, as any parent does occasionally, He disciplines those He loves, but unlike human parents, God's mercy is always the same. I know that I, myself am guilty of occasionally acting out of frustration instead of cool-headed collectiveness when it comes to discipline, praise God He handles us so much more gracefully. A story of David is brought to mind when I think of God's mercy. Well, David's whole life story is God's mercy over and over, as David had his share of mess-ups, but how I wander... In 2 Samuel 24 David takes a census of all Israel and Judah, against the Lord's wishes. The Lord offers him a choice in how he wants to receive his punishment: 3 years of famine, 3 months of fleeing his enemies, or 3 days of plague. David's response: (2 Samuel 24: 14) "...Let us fall into the hands of the Lord, for his mercy is great; but do not let me fall into the hands of men." Like a big, soft hearted Dad, after he reprimands us, He's there with us through the aftermath.

Fast Forward-- April 2012

So it's been a while since my last blog post. Our lives have seen ups and downs since I last wrote up here, but to sum it up now, we've seen God's hand move on our behalf as a family over and over again. We recently moved to Waco, Texas for work after a 9 month span of being unemployed. On our adventure heading out here, just 300 miles from Waco our only vehicle died-- kaput. God's word to me as we waited for the tow truck, when I sighed and asked why we seemed to have such bad luck, I'll never forget. It's not bad luck, it's just an opportunity for my Glory to be revealed. Wow. And have we ever seen that these past long months.

We recently came to learn that we are expecting our fourth child, and looking into the prospect of buying our first home, if the Lord chooses to open the door for us.  We are living and learning to continually stretch ourselves and live by faith.